We all love a dinner party. More cozy than a restaurant, more fun than eating at home! Every time you get an invite to a dinner party, you have an opportunity to make a great impression and show that you know HTFAR.
Here is how to be a great dinner party guest:
RSVP on time.
If you get a dinner invite, respond promptly. Waiting too long makes the host feel as if you are waiting for something better to do. If it is a larger party, she may be making **plans** based on numbers, help her out!
Ask what to bring.
But not in the few hours before – don’t bother the host.
The day before the party, check in and ask what you can bring. Worst case scenario, she says, “Oh! Great! Would you mind bringing dessert? There will be 24 guests, and I’d prefer it to be homemade.” Or, she texts you while you’re on your way with a grocery list of things she forgot. Likely, she will say, “just your smiling face!” Say, “ok, great. If anything changes, let me know.”
Bring something anyway.
No matter what she says when you ask, bring something. A nice bottle of wine, some fancy chocolates, a candle. My favorite hostess gift was a few fancy cheeses from a local dairy farm. Perfect. And delicious. Whatever you do, do not come empty handed.
Don’t be early.
The early bird may get the worm, but she sure as hell doesn’t get invited back. Party prep almost always runs longer than expected. Most hosts will be rushing around taking care of last minute details (her eye makeup! The apps! Vacuuming the living room!) She will need about 15 minutes extra. Give them to her. Unless you are a very close friend and will pick up the vacuum and arrange the flowers, don’t be early.
Don’t be too late.
Ok, yes, I just said don’t be early. But don’t be too late either. Arrive around 15 minutes late. If you know the host well, and she tends to run late, 15 minutes becomes a half an hour.
Four Words: Gracious, enthusiastic, curious, and patient.
Graciously acknowledge how wonderful everything looks, smells, tastes. Enthusiastically eat everything and listen to your host. Curiously ask appropriate questions. And patiently wait if things are running behind.
Do not call ten minutes before asking questions (or even an hour before).
About anything. Parking, directions, attire. You are an adult (at least we think you are). Figure it out. Don’t text either. If you have a question, ask your date, a friend, your mom, Google. Anyone but the hostess.
Avoid hot topics.
People used to say to avoid politics and religion. We’re not sure that is exactly appropriate anymore. With a little grace, you can talk about these things. Just try not to bring up anything too controversial. You know your group and if you don’t, read the room.
Avoid cold ones, too.
Probably more important than the hot topics. No one cares about the email your boss just sent, the inner workings of your child’s soccer team or anything about your workout routine. They really don’t.
Help.
Be prepared to clear the table, do some dishes. If she asks you to take food home, just do it.
Leave.
Do not overstay your welcome. If the wine is gone, probably a good time to leave. If the host is yawning or talking about what she needs to do tomorrow, you’ve stayed too late.
Bonus: Send a thank you note. Because this is one of the occasion that deserves a handwritten thank you note.
Look at you, totally f*cking acting right!
Unless you don’t want to get invited back, you have to do a few things at any dinner party you go to. Being a great dinner party guest is as simple as bringing a gift, being a decent conversationalist, and being on time (not the time on the invite!).
