The holidays are the most wonderful time of the year, right? Well, sometimes. Here are HTFAR’s top 12 rules of holiday etiquette to make this season a little warmer, a little brighter.
1. Be grateful.
This is probably the most important thing you can do. Be grateful even if your grandma got you fleece lined gloves and you live in Miami. Be grateful if the server brought you hot chocolate without the booze your requested. In a traffic jam? Be grateful that you aren’t in the accident causing it. This time of year is stressful, it is a time when people’s holiday cheer isn’t there. So, just be grateful. It does more for you than the recipient of your gratitude. And it is just plain old acting right.
2. Have extra gifts on hand.
Small things like wine and lotions. You probably forgot someone, make sure you have a drawer with a few little pre-wrapped gifts and cards. You don’t have to blow your budget to do this (please don’t!) but you don’t want to be empty handed when someone comes over with something lovely.
3. Have wine.
4. And cheese.
Maybe some holiday cookies. Be ready to offer them if someone stops by.
5. Keep your ugly sweater comments to yourself.
Seriously. Your third grade teacher aunt? Well, she might actually like that sweater. Unless it literally says the words, “This is my ugly sweater,” or has Jesus in a compromising position, be careful. Say something benign, like “Did you get that at Ann Taylor?” and not “benign” in the “I hate Ann Taylor and am secretly judging you kind of way.”
6. “Ooh” and “Ahh” over the Santa pics.
Yes, there are so many. Yes, they are all the same. No, you don’t care. Do your friend a holiday solid and pretend. If she has a kid, she is stressed. She might have to schlep herself to Toys R Us at midnight on the 24th to pick up a Hatchimal. The least you can do is smile at her screaming kid Santa pic. Seriously, it’s the least. Someone did that for your mom, so consider it karma.
7. Doing a holiday card? Don’t brag.
Congratulations, your husband got a huge holiday bonus, and your kids are without a doubt the cutest and best athletes, students, and volunteers. And to top it all off, you just went on a 5-star vacation. It was a great year! Don’t brag about it on your holiday card. You can talk about your kids and your vacation without being arrogant. Leave the bonus out.
Tone it down. Otherwise, expect eye rolls and gagging. Also, expect gossip. As in, “OMG, did you read Danielle’s holiday card…” Also, use proper punctuation. As in, drop the f*&king apostrophe. Seriously.
Btw, a humble brag is still a brag. #Blessed is still bragging. And, it is even worse than a regular brag.
8. Tip well.
9. Do not post your gifts on social media.
Got engaged? Yay for you two! Don’t post that ring. Got a Mercedes with a huge bow? Not for Instagram. Your kids made you a pancake breakfast and a mess? Well… I guess there is an exception to every rule.
10. Keep quiet when the gift is not quite right.
Got a regift? Hate that sweater? Already have that vase? Unless you plan to say, “Oh thank you so much! I love it,” don’t say anything at all.
11. Regift, but cautiously and selectively.
If you have something that won’t work for you, but will definitely work for someone else (that you know well), and is nicer than what you would ordinarily be able to give, by all means regift. We have received a beautiful sweater, a super comfy dress, some great toys, delicious wine, and more. And loved them all.
12. Be Grateful.
Yes, it’s on here twice. It’s that important.
What do you think are the most important holiday etiquette rules? Anything we should add?
